Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
