Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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