wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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