Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize