You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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