what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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