Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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