so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
