i permit you to call me
home. puking in laundry basket.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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