Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
