i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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