my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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