her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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