Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
