Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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