these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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