ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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