you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My breasts were aching with rage.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword