bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Too much gin, very little bucket
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.