so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
