Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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