I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
