I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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