Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
