I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I deserve this hangover.
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