are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
