i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
