I was born with a shot glass in my hand
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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