Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
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Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
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Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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