3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I wish I could punch you in the face.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
