Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
