If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
