As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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