We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
