she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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