she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
