Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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