I can feel you judging me through the phone.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
