can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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