Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
