Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
