She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
