half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize