Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize