He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize