i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
