Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
did i walk over a car last night?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
