"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
