u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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