3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
