frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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