I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I need a burrito and a hug.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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