so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
