So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
