somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
A+ Viking dick
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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