He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
