I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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