you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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