Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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