i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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