God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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