I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
