I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
